We are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world...

I'm sitting in the usual seat, the usual place and feeling very aware of the fact that I haven't written or blogged for a while.  Has the novelty worn off?  Am I in a creative wasteland?  Did someone steal my typing fingers while I was asleep?

I'm relieved to report that none of the above are appropriate, it's just been a couple of long weeks and there's a couple more ahead.

There are times when I want to write everything down, record these days in a way more reliable than memory.  Snag the moments in a butterfly net of words and keep them trapped forever, so that it's there to experience even after I'm gone.  No matter how good or bad I feel I write, there's probably no one else who will write exactly like me, who will live this exact life, who will see through these green-grey eyes...

Then there are days when I want to just get through to the end, ideally intact, with low body counts and no trips to the medical centre.

Writing is largely about communicating, about making a connection through shared experiences and emotions.  About letting even one other person know that you've felt the same, whether it be elation, delerium, ennui or boredom.  It's also about entertainment, watching created worlds spiral into Hell or greatness with an intimate audience, others who will grin and say, “Yeah, I was there when Highgrave burned...  That was a night to remember!”

But sometimes you don't want to remember, you don't want to share.  It's too tedious or painful for one person to endure, let alone to share it around.  Sometimes the cut goes too deep and those are the wounds that you keep to yourself, quietly picking at them in the darkness of 3am when you can't sleep.

There are times when it may seem that I'm not writing.  Sometimes it's because life has legitimately gotten in the way.  Sometimes it's because I'm being lazy – no surprise there, it's the whole reason I started this blog.

Sometimes it's not that I'm not writing, it's just that it's nothing I want to share.

By the way, for those who missed it, this blog entry was titled after Tyler Durden from Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club.